Who you dont want(Blame the devil)

I was too tired to wait for my friends so I decided to go to my hostel alone. I was waiting for a cab with two other guys and two ladies,I already planned on how I was going to push anybody pushable whenever the first cab arrived because it had started to drizzle and I had clothes on the line. A cab stopped and one of the ladies I was with shouted 'drop'(incase you don't know what this implies: she wanted the cab all to HERSELF), Ehn!! what did this one just say,I thought, only you will now enter the cab okwa ya? She was lucky the cab man didn't pick her because I'd have done something really embarrassing. So I entered the cab with the two dudes and the other girl,I sat by the window and I gave her the 'ntooor' look. It was halfway I discovered that I was in a cab with cute guys(I have a thing for fine boys yo) I need new fine boys in my life so I sneezed(yes,I can fake a cold too and in times like this,sneezing is just the perfect action) the guys didn't even look up let alone say 'bless you' and therefore didn't say 'bless you cutie' (the actual thing I wanted to hear). I thought they didn't hear so I sneezed again,tweeh,they were just glued to their phones,even the girl sef didn't answer me. When I was already envisaging a tiff between both of them over who'd pay my cab fare. It was as if their girlfriends too had told them not to say 'bless you' to sneezing ladies in public. They both brought out just the right amount for their fare and gave the driver,ahnahn where are these stingy boys from naa, didn't you learn how to treat those who were in need (not in need of their money actually,the attention) When we alighted,one was going in my direction and so I quickly walked up and made sure I was walking in his front, my inner man told me he was too shy to approach me in the cab and was scared as he didn't know what my reaction would be so I decided to make his job easier. I was wearing a white shirt and black skirt as usual and I expected him to notice me from behind(I'm not tooting my horn,but most people do...before I lost weight) the cloth was quite smart(if you know what I mean by smart) and I was waiting for him to tap me but No oo,he didn't even touch the hem of my garment. Vrooom, he walked past me,still pressing his phone,chaii, this dude must be gay how can he not notice me? You think you are a fast walker abi,today you have met your better half. I increased my pace and overtook him, now I intensified the buttocks swaying, this matter is very serious but still this guy didn't tap me. It took me a few minutes to realize that I was on my own, I was towing the narrow part alone, azzin the dude wasn't even walking anymore,I looked back,he already stopped and I thought he was waiting for a cab.Cheesus,mumu ni padi yii o, how can you leave me to walk on my own , why would he not tell me we were stopping to wait for a cab. Today today, you will ask for my number,I brought out my phone and pretended like I was making a call so I reversed and was like 'you are at home? I'm coming let me get a cab' So I stood next to him again and I this time I knew he was definitely going to look at me. My shoes were very beautiful and my legs should atleast attract him and make him trace those legs up to the face (like those Indian movies) By now he was smiling at his phone so I assumed he already took a sneak peek when I was looking away. Oya baby talk na,ask for my name, he didn't,he still kept pressing that annoying phone. I was becoming so impatient, Holy spirit, helper of the helpless ,make his phone fall and crash into a million pieces ,make him loose all his contacts and leave him with no option than to collect my phone to put a call through to his brother, he'll tell me how grateful he is,call me a life saver, collect my number and call me at night ,ask if we could meet up to thank me the more,we meet up,we start dating,we live happily ever after in our condo in las vegas and I'll tell my children this story on our 20th wedding anniversary. I came back to reality when this silver Hyundai Equus 2013model stopped in front of us,we were not married,he doesn't even know my name. I assumed the car stopped for me and I was already thinking of how I was going to answer the dude driving the car in a way that'll make this guy jealous and realize that I just wanted to manage him ni. The driver whined down the window screen and it was a lady behind the wheels(I'm straight joor,just go away and hit on another lady) She was a beautiful lady, a very beautiful lady,infact beautiful is an understatement,she was smiling at the guy. 'Babe,I'm sorry I kept you waiting' she said as the guy entered the front seat, she pecked her right in my presence, (oh,so it wasn't for me you stopped? This life isn't fair) I heard her asking this guy if I was his friend and the dude was like 'noooooooo' The way this guy said the 'noooo' catapulted my hand into my handbag in search of my mirror(what in pete's name is wrong with my face). They zoomed off and left me standing with this other guy and that one was looking at me and smiling,eeew see the dentition. 'Sister na where you dey go,na my okada dey there, he said as he pointed at one yamayama okada,na for free I go carry you o,you be fine girl. I hissed and made to walk away,its not your fault I thought to myself,that was when I realized I wasn't in front of my school anymore,I wasn't even close to my school,I quickly walked back and asked the guy,bros abeg na where be this,when he told me my mouth hung. Chaii on top say I wan make fine boy collect my number,my mother thought me better than this o(it was the devil,my inner man whispered to me,the devil made you enter the cab with him,the DeVIL) How much to my school I asked him,he told me 30naira but that he'd take me for free,I smiled at him and told him oya. When I got down in front of my hostel's main gate, the guy told me to wait and he brought out his phone and pointed it at me,I was like for what,he said number. Ehn iwo ati tani, kilagbe kiloju (what did we carry,what did you throw) I smiled at him ,clutched my bag wella and I technically flew inside my hostel's compound. Thank God they don't allow visitors in before 4'o clock,which mouth will I use and tell my friends the story. I blame the devil,I blame him so much.