##twerking in#
Guess who is done with her exams!!!!! No,it isn't my final exams but I'm glad,so close your eyes,get down on your knees(no kneeling on cloth or paper or pillow or anything,go low on that concrete floor),if you are a lady,get a scarf,close your eyes and Thank God for me.He deserves all the glory..and the honor..and the adoration.I'm just so glad,atleast no books for a while.For now I'll be reading only books like:How to make quick money,Think like a lady;act like a man,How to bake cakes and christian books like Staying full of God by Andrew Wommack(started the book but the owner collected it back),so if you have hardcopies or softcopies of books like these,just contact me but keep it at the back of your mind that you are not getting the hardcopy back,let the Lord use you to bless me. Duru's message(s) got me screaming,azzin I was feeling like a boss(I am a boss),he so hyped me and I had to read the post again,thanks big brother/ARISTO(you notice the emphasis but you can be the two at the same time,aye n se ru e*)
So,we borrowed a course from Computer Science department don't ask me why because I don't know why either.One of the topics we were thought transferred me to my dreamworld..a place where I get to decide everything that happens.'History of computers' that is the topic.The introductory part of the topic "It took thousands of years for the computer to develop in to the present state.Earlier the process of computing was done by counting with fingers, stones & through scratches on the sand or walls. But this idea is only for the counting of small entities. Later..." Pause! Rewind! Did you see that? Computing was done by counting with their fingers,stones and scratches on the wall those years. Its a good thing and also a bad one. Partially, I think its good that I was not born then so I use this medium to thank the spirits of my great great grandparents who didn't meet on time,they delayed meeting and shifted me to this generation,God bless your souls(I wonder if they can read this) you better join me and thank them or you think I'd have come to this world without dragging all of you from heaven.So,do you think they mean computing like computing with computers? Nooo,they mean computing like counting and writing down.Are you seeing what I'm seeing?All calclations were done with fingers,stones or scratches on the wall.Do you think life would have been easier or tougher? I thought about it for us, I'm showing you things from my point of view(I use glasses,clearer vision).I think the world would have been a better place because we would not have large numbers or tougher because we don't have ths large numbers too (lol,I'm confused shoo?) Let me borrow you my 3D glasses for few minutes.
In the era of fingers
Most of us have ten fingers,although there are special people who have more.So counting will be done with only our fingers,we can include our toes in technical cases.Do you even know what this means? MATHS,my people, would be a very simple subject and then we'd all be doctors(oya lie that you didn't go to arts because you dont/ didn't like maths,you are lying abi) There'd be nothing like simultaneous equations or quadratic equations,infact there'd be little or no division and multplication in the system.Exams would be very simple,Waec exams,if they exist will look like this:
1. Add your left fingers with your right fingers:
2. Add your left fingers.Add your left fingers again,subtract your right fingers
And for technical questions for geniuses like us #pops collar#
3. Add your left and right fingers. Add your right toes; where a right toe is equivalent to your left fingers.Add your right fingers again.
Your answers will be recorded like `//////////////' or '••••••••'
That'd be all and we'll all get our straight A's (atleast I'll get mine)
So you see? Since the only counting and computing methods will be by our fingers,our teachers/lecturers would not have to stress us all too much.And I never liked socks when I was in high school(if you think I am/was razz,na you know) so there'd be no socks since our toes would be counting devices also,,,,isn't that just so beautiful!! Its disadvantage;my mother will always show me just the left fingers each time I ask for allowance i.e only 5cowries or 5naira, so fingers isn't the way.
Scratches on the wall
So here,I think we'd just have to make tallies on the walls in our rooms,churches,exam rooms and BANKS.In your room for example,if your dad probably owes you allowance(cowries) for 3months,you'd have to scratch the wall( there'd be no papers) and count:
Month: /////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
Month://///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
Month:////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
Final:///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////........I can imagine something like this on my room's wall(it looks beautiful anyways,) but when you are done scratching the wall,you wouldn't want to take the allowance anymore because you'll be so tired.To save you the 'stress' they'll reduce the allowance to like
Month:///
Month://
Month:
Final://///,because of this I don't like this method either.
However scratching the wall will also have its advantage(s) ,especially in exam halls..again(I thought of this during exams so don't blame me). If you forget the answer to a question for example,you can just go to the wall and start scratching after you have signalled to one of your "padis" who would come and join you in scratching the wall.It is going to be part of the laws of Nigeria that:
"Students should be allowed to make scratches on the wall in
exam halls and anybody who prevents them from scratching the wall will be....."
Probably sentenced to death so no lecturer will question you,
Even if any lecturer questions you because you don't need calculations for courses like law,linguistics,you could reply and tell them that you are calculating the date-_- This way also,the smart and good scratchers will finish with a first class,But because it will affect my allowance,I don't like this method either.
STONES
Finally,stones! In a world of stones,instead of powder in ladies' bags and earphones with the guys,we all will carry our stones .People like us will carry frOsh and neat stones,I'll customize my own stones sef(Mo).It will be easy when you want to buy just 1 thing like a pen or any singular item which isn't expensive but if it is something which is either not singular or not cheap,like errmmm,biscuits for your cousins disturbing you or Iphone for me(your girlfriend.if you are a girl,I'd be your brother's girlfriend and if you don't have a brother I'd probably be your favorite cousin's girlfriend) Conversations would be in this form:
You-I want to buy something(unzips bag and brings out nylon of stones)
Seller-Customer na wetin you wan buy
You-Biscuit
Seller-ok,how many?
You-(places bag of stones on table and counts stones,say 10)This many,how much?
Seller-(goes into his shop and brings out maybe 50 stones when the biscuit is 5naira/cowries each )..
You give him 50nara/cowries and go.It is easy right? Ok let's use iphone6 for an example of expensive sumtin.how much is it sef?let's say 150thousand naira/cowries:
You-Yo man! I want me some iphone6
Phone dealer-you the man boss,what color?
You-black,how much man
Phone dealer-ermm,hold on a second.(Goes into his shop and comes out with a ghana-must-go full of stones,sits down and gives you a chair to sit)its gonna take a long time to tell you how much it costs man,its quite large so grab that chair,watch me as I count and let me get you a drink.....
You know how long it'll take to count 150thousand right? Azzin one by one,do you? Me neither but I actually think we wouldn't have large figures inorder to avoid such difficulties.Anyways,we have computers now and even if I go about breaking calculators,it wouldn't change a thing....Thanks to Von Neumann for developing computer.
My point exactly: Since you don't have to go through the stress of counting stones.....get me Iphone,I don't care what number(1 or 6) and let's celebrate independence day togerra!
Friday 26 September 2014
Thursday 4 September 2014
SO LONG a Quickie..
That feeling when you want to read..and sleep at the same time!that feeling is torture I'm telling you.I can't sleep,I cannot read and so I have been reading several blogs lataaro and I've been motivated...to read my books. But before I pounce on my books as my exams are staring at me,I have to do this post.
OK!! So I sincerely have to apologise for the long break in transmission,another mild break is coming up but I promise to be consistent after then.I checked my pageviews and I was WOWed,thank you for visiting,yes you! Even if you have not been leaving comments,I still take this time out to say a big THANK you....BUT dropping comments won't be a bad idea you know? Stop admiring me secretly and just come out clean.This is actually not the concluding part of my previous post,its just a post I have a strong urge to do because I want you all to know I'm still alive,still crushing on finefine boys,still reading my books and still single and so before I buzz off...let's have a quickie!(nyama! Wat were you thinking?)
What comes to your mind when you get a message from your bank??let me answer for you.,CRedit Alert. Since you already know you can decide to or not to check the message,right?? Right??
My allowance isn't stable but since madre already promised me a lil cash the previous day,I just concluded she had fulfiled her promise when I got a message from my bank. I started smiling up and down,greeting everybody in my hall as the rich girl that I am and everybody looked less happy than I was(poor people,maybe they af not sent money to them).5k is not a joking matter. I already planned how I was going to spend the money, so I brought out my list: Pepper:200,fish:100,meat:250(if there's no change,buy300nara),handsanitizer:300,cereals:380(if they don't have Nasco,I wasn't planning to buy any other),panty liner:850(as per tush babe) body spray/perfume:1000..everything was sha close to 3k. I actually had 1k on me,plus the 5k my mum sent to me,,I decided to add more to the list,I planned to buy anything blue or purple,so after I crosschecked my list, I zoomed to the market(not Zoom actually,my car af not arrive,the market is not far from my hostel so. zoomedtrekked).I went to buy my soup ingredients first,I already planned to use POS at the supermarket.I spent roughly 900naira at the market(I bought maize and some other things that I have decided not to tell you because I don't want to tell you).As I go to the supermarket,I scanned around for fine boys(oh puhleassse,if by now you don't know how much I like fine boys and the fact that 5 out of 10posts might be about them, now you know) As the independent girl that I am,I bounced in,grabbed a basket and I was picking and picking and picking and picking till I could pick no more. As I got to the attendant,I gave her my atm card,the basket full of goodies obviously NOT worth more than 4k and I posed in a corner waiting for her to calculate,debit my account and gimme my goods and oscof my card.he looked at me and told me my account balance wasn't sufficient.ehn?? Say wetin?did I pay for callertunes with ATM ni because its only Mtn me I know can deduct money from your account and give you one oldschool callertune without your permission. I told her to try again and because customers are always right,she did try again.same response! Ah!! On top efrything I don pick today. I quickly went to my messages to check the alert I got the previous day and I got the shoker of life.The message was merely wishing me happy new month!(And a happy new year in advance) Mogbe!! I asked the girl for my bill and she told me two thousand and sixty naira,I checked my purse and discovered I only had 120naira,cheiii! I collected my ATM card in slow motion and just told her I had to get to my bank,I think she saw the money in my purse because she asked me if I needed transport fare. So as I took the eyepencil worth 50naira the only thing I could afford,I called my mum and she apologized for not sending the money,she promised to send it today. I'm not telling you if I've gotten the Real credit alert or not so you won't go and rob my bank account.
My point exactly; Never ignore a message,no matter how acquainted you are with the sender,even if it is MTN disturbing you with their usual 'do you need a job,do you need a brain,do you need a wife' messages,just read,it just might turn out to be a very useful one...
Aiiissssh... So how quick was that?? You feeling me??
So I'm signing out now,but I promise to be back..with hotter/cooler tales..fictions..stories..anything and everything!! Don't forget to drop a comment,I'll check my mailbox regualarly and your comment could be the one to brighten up the day#I'memotionallikethat# So I'll see you all after exams..if you stumble on this blog while I'm away..add the blog's address to your bookmark,I promise to be back #wipestears#
Off to the battlefront,I have christ so victory is sure....ciao
OK!! So I sincerely have to apologise for the long break in transmission,another mild break is coming up but I promise to be consistent after then.I checked my pageviews and I was WOWed,thank you for visiting,yes you! Even if you have not been leaving comments,I still take this time out to say a big THANK you....BUT dropping comments won't be a bad idea you know? Stop admiring me secretly and just come out clean.This is actually not the concluding part of my previous post,its just a post I have a strong urge to do because I want you all to know I'm still alive,still crushing on finefine boys,still reading my books and still single and so before I buzz off...let's have a quickie!(nyama! Wat were you thinking?)
What comes to your mind when you get a message from your bank??let me answer for you.,CRedit Alert. Since you already know you can decide to or not to check the message,right?? Right??
My allowance isn't stable but since madre already promised me a lil cash the previous day,I just concluded she had fulfiled her promise when I got a message from my bank. I started smiling up and down,greeting everybody in my hall as the rich girl that I am and everybody looked less happy than I was(poor people,maybe they af not sent money to them).5k is not a joking matter. I already planned how I was going to spend the money, so I brought out my list: Pepper:200,fish:100,meat:250(if there's no change,buy300nara),handsanitizer:300,cereals:380(if they don't have Nasco,I wasn't planning to buy any other),panty liner:850(as per tush babe) body spray/perfume:1000..everything was sha close to 3k. I actually had 1k on me,plus the 5k my mum sent to me,,I decided to add more to the list,I planned to buy anything blue or purple,so after I crosschecked my list, I zoomed to the market(not Zoom actually,my car af not arrive,the market is not far from my hostel so. zoomedtrekked).I went to buy my soup ingredients first,I already planned to use POS at the supermarket.I spent roughly 900naira at the market(I bought maize and some other things that I have decided not to tell you because I don't want to tell you).As I go to the supermarket,I scanned around for fine boys(oh puhleassse,if by now you don't know how much I like fine boys and the fact that 5 out of 10posts might be about them, now you know) As the independent girl that I am,I bounced in,grabbed a basket and I was picking and picking and picking and picking till I could pick no more. As I got to the attendant,I gave her my atm card,the basket full of goodies obviously NOT worth more than 4k and I posed in a corner waiting for her to calculate,debit my account and gimme my goods and oscof my card.he looked at me and told me my account balance wasn't sufficient.ehn?? Say wetin?did I pay for callertunes with ATM ni because its only Mtn me I know can deduct money from your account and give you one oldschool callertune without your permission. I told her to try again and because customers are always right,she did try again.same response! Ah!! On top efrything I don pick today. I quickly went to my messages to check the alert I got the previous day and I got the shoker of life.The message was merely wishing me happy new month!(And a happy new year in advance) Mogbe!! I asked the girl for my bill and she told me two thousand and sixty naira,I checked my purse and discovered I only had 120naira,cheiii! I collected my ATM card in slow motion and just told her I had to get to my bank,I think she saw the money in my purse because she asked me if I needed transport fare. So as I took the eyepencil worth 50naira the only thing I could afford,I called my mum and she apologized for not sending the money,she promised to send it today. I'm not telling you if I've gotten the Real credit alert or not so you won't go and rob my bank account.
My point exactly; Never ignore a message,no matter how acquainted you are with the sender,even if it is MTN disturbing you with their usual 'do you need a job,do you need a brain,do you need a wife' messages,just read,it just might turn out to be a very useful one...
Aiiissssh... So how quick was that?? You feeling me??
So I'm signing out now,but I promise to be back..with hotter/cooler tales..fictions..stories..anything and everything!! Don't forget to drop a comment,I'll check my mailbox regualarly and your comment could be the one to brighten up the day#I'memotionallikethat# So I'll see you all after exams..if you stumble on this blog while I'm away..add the blog's address to your bookmark,I promise to be back #wipestears#
Off to the battlefront,I have christ so victory is sure....ciao
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